Creating fond memories as a single parent is twice the work. It is easy to feel guilty that one is not giving one’s children the same happy experiences they may have had as an intact family during the holidays. Yet it is possible with some sensitivity and attention to detail. Here are some fun tips and some practical ideas to help you create your own meaningful memories and traditions.
The holidays can be a special time to be together as a single parent
The additional one-on-one attention a child receives from a sensitive single parent is often a gift. Make sure that your children are involved in all decisions regarding the holidays and special occasions. Plan events together.
• Encourage equal time
Don’t let your child mourn the absence of the other parent at important holidays. Make sure that whatever your differences with your former partner, you put these aside during important holidays so that the children do not suffer. It may be possible, for example, for one parent to have the child on Christmas Eve and the other at Christmas lunch if they live close by. Make compromises for the sake of the children.
• Get together with other single parents
By socializing with other single parents on the holidays, the children will not feel that they are the only ones who are not a part of an intact family. It will also give you a chance to be supported by others who are in a similar situation.
• Volunteer
Take your mind off your situation by spending Christmas or Thanksgiving morning volunteering at a soup kitchen or a shelter. Both you and your children will feel good about the fact that you have each other and have participated together in an event to help others. You may also enlist your children to choose a toy they no longer treasure and donate it to a local toy drive. They will feel they have contributed to make another child’s holiday more special.
• Take photos and create scrapbooks together for holiday memories
There are many resources on the market for scrapbooking. Make sure you always take photos of your family events and trips so that the children can look back on them every year together and talk about what they did.
• Be cautious about inviting a new relationship to the holiday event
It is important to be sensitive to the children’s feelings during the first few holiday events. No doubt they will be missing the other parent. Don’t see this as an opportunity to fill in the gap by inviting in a new relationship of your own even if it appears to be on the way to becoming permanent. The children will most likely resent the intrusion and if the relationship does not last, it will further enhance the sense of fragmentation in their world.
It is possible to create a time for good memory building during the holidays as a single parent. With a little sensitivity to the feelings of loss your children may be experiencing during the holidays, and some planning ahead together, you can all enjoy the special time.
Alexandra Clark - Alexandra Clark has always been interested in alternative health and healing. She transferred from a career as a translator of Spanish and ...
Join the Conversation